Friday, October 01, 2004


Sometimes you wonder if in this day and age cana person just vansih without a trace. I too had experienced a person that does not want to be contacted and just vanishes form this world just like that. Being a person with little or no friends at all, I was thinking that if one day i want to disappear, without a trace, i.e this blog will be earased or moved, will ppl take notice. I know some of you have come by and read my whacky sense of humour are like going WTF in your minds now.

Well I dun know, I mean I started this blog for the sole purpose of laffing at myself when I grew up and thought about reading the past stupid things I did. I neevr did expect let alone have some ppl actually coming here day n night reading my new entrys. I mean I am not like some superstar like steven lim...ok I digress he is a superstar in his own mind, shudders, But still ppl like him if dsappears, ppl will take notice. Then of me? Nah who cares rite, just another insignificant grain of sand on this perverbial beach.

I have been plague by mental questions lately, questioning my very exisistence, wondering if I had vanished some yrs back who the world be a better place. I think back on all the lives i had an impact on, the ppl I piss off, the ppl I still piss off on the road(yeah you know me...I am the one in black spectra that you damn assholes seem to like to race with all teh time) , more imptly the ppl thatmattered in myu lie, those whom gave up on me, cried for me, laffed with me, hate me, love me(YES EVEN AN ARSE LIKE ME HAVE PPL LOVING, SO GET OVER IT), those whom I advice, those whom I seek advise from. Would it matter ifI was not there at those points of life? I cam to the conculsion that the world would be a better place without me.

I am not say ingthat i am some big fuck that can change the fate of history here, I am saying the world will be a better place without me like maybe 0.00000000001%, but hey in a world of 6 billion thats a lot of lives affected. Anyway I wonder what my next step nowadays, since having only maybe 1 friend that is actually my friend at most in this world, If I want to, I can actually disappear without a trace. Frightening thought, oh well lifes goes on. Maybe I shld be a zoo keeper or something since I work and relate so well with animalls (5 pets in my room) And they much easier to please and understand.

I have always told myself I wanted to be simple an dhave a simple exisistence, but lately I came to terms that that is not possible, I am much more complexed (read as screwed up) than I will admit. My mind has mind boggling theories that only those in white padded rooms can think of, I blalantly admit to have suck on terapins penis on IRC.....etc etc, see where I am getting at? Well I always have thought that those in IMH could be the sane ones while we the rest of 'same' humans might actually be the real nutcases.

Think about it.....if you disappeared, how many lives you know would be changed....