Thursday, August 05, 2004

Getting old?

Was at my usual place with bai and his friend last nite. Seems to me that I am become more of a regular there nowadays. Ppl seem to regconize me nowadays, almost every week I get to know someone new, well only get their names and I am too lazy to ask for more details, I guess ppl will think I am super dao, or gay (which may not be a bad thing) Well after 4-5 weeks of going down I find that I think I am getting old to the scene.

I mean I guess I started again is becoz of my past life was very rich and vibrant in colour. Now it all seems so fake to me. I mean its sort of losing its luster for me. going to the club. Meeting strange ppl, seeing and being seen. I guess I feel old, having starting clubbing at 17+ is no help either. That is like 10 yrs of clubbing, well given that I took a 3 yr break b4 this yr. That is still 7 yrs of clubbing.

Somehow if I retire now from the scene, I am sure that I will miss it again in a couple of years and would again start my fetish for the nite life but at a much older age, by then I am a old fart and most ppl would ignore and stay away form me( which is almos happening to me anyway). The gals are not getting better lookig either, seems like all the real cute babes are at dbl O nowadays, but I find that place way too fake and I dun or have never had luck there anyway.

Work has been surmounting too and its not helping in anyway. Next week is the start of teh new term, one that I dread, esp when I am not prepared for wad lies ahead and everything seems so last minute and not done. Yet I have this weird feeling that everything will be fine. Saw some new students just now though they look so fine, somehow I felt irritated by them more than anything else. Maybe knowing that they will never bother to notice me is the real cause of my irritation. So wad if I got a car, credit cards and all. It does not seeem to amount to anything at all, or so it seems.

Maybe I am still bouncing ard in my limbo bubble that I dun want to face the real facts that I have past my prime? Whatever the reason, I will only know the answers after the weeks to come. When the real work begins and if i can handle it.