Tuesday, October 26, 2004

The Bombs have dropped

KNowing my situation, this is wad happened, I have decided to leave my long term relationship, to pursue my hearts interest. Gal A(ex gf) told my bro's Gf as they know each other for sometime. Bro's GF told my bro, my bro exploded at dinner on snday to my parentsabout had I did. I was not there as I anticipated something like that to happen.

I am now bieng ignored by my father, whom has grownto accept Gal A, I think he is angry at me for doing this. Oh well... I had a long tok with my mom and she was just disappointed that if I had intentions not to go so long, I shld have left her earlier. Which I did consider in my past when a friend of mine did mention that if you date a gal past 25 yrs old, more or less she would want to marry you and if you dump her, it would be a heinieous crime.

I am ignoring my bro for exploding as usual, I dun give a fark wad he thinks that I have done wrong, as he is always judgemental and thinks he is always in the rite.

Yes 5 yrs is a long time, but ask you this, wouold you rather spend 5 yrs of being love but never have that tingling feeling in your spine, or 2 months with your love of your life and then die after that.

On that topic, recently after the 1st IPPT I took, I developed a pain in teh left side of my ribs, thinking it is some musculaur pain and I am in no shape, I disregarded it. Then after the second IPPT, the pain intensified, it feels like a broken rib, or a rutured spleen. Why I say that, last nit efor no reason I had somesort of pain attack that felt like something exploded in me. Oh well who wants to live forever rite?

Yes I will see a doctor, dunnoe when, prolly subconcieously I dun want to treat it and let it get real bad and end up in hospital, for all teh guilt I feel about doing this to Gal A. To get forgiveness from my parents, to put teh msg across that it is not an easy decision afterall.

Wadever....maybe if it really gets bad and I die, maybe everyone will be happy then? Oh well we will see