Thursday, December 16, 2004

More Crap.....

I have not been blogging much, real life has this effect on those who have a I shall leave some jokes for teh no lifers out there :P

If you need a laugh then read through these children's science exam answers. These are real answers given by children.Q: Name the four seasons.A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes largepollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)

A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and theabdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?

A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."

A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Monday, December 13, 2004

As fast as Wet??

The weekedn went by so fast that I could not hold on to my pants, in fact it was as fast as wet... wtf am I toking about u say? Well due to teh shitty weather we had over the weekend, I had to stay indoors. Furthermore there were so many progams this weekend that I had to forgo flying. Oh well there is always next week.

I am supposed to moe all my shit out of my cubicle by wednesday. I am impress that 90% of my shit fits in a box no bigger than an LCD monitor box. Sad that I still got stuff that I have yet to move and an empty box waitingto be filled. Then there are these 2 crazy PCs I have to move. I hope nothing gets lost in 'transistion' while I move to the floor below...

I feel corny today...a lil horny too.. oh well my best friend 9read as right hand) should suffice.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Its moving day

Early in the morning when I came to work with no power to the air con in my room and the door latched locked. some of my colleagues were asking me when they nid to shift to the 2nd floor. With that some of them started to pack their stuff into the boxes provided. Which made me do a mad rush to pack my stuff too.

1 hr later 90 % of my junk is gone, either thrown away or packed into the box n cupboards. We are to be relocated for the next 4 mths while renovations take place in my office
I am supposed to pack away my items and move them to the second floor. I also realised that I dun hav eth keys to my cupboards thus I cannot lock them up.

I wonder where they get their keys though.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Funny Christmas.....

Christmas is round teh corner and I found this joke in the net....

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Muahahhahahhahahahaha I am evil..... :P

Oh if you did not hear, civil servants are getting a whooping 2.25 months of BOUNS...YES finally good money. I need it for my car stuff and all. hopefully there is enuff left for a trip to Aussie with that certain special whiney someone in my life

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Singapore Drivers all have their right index fingers broken off.....

why else can you explain that no one seem to use indicators when driving.... Its bullshit when you drive down the roads here, and ppl are just coming into your lane without letting yu know, and i am 2 feet from their rear. Do they want to have an accident? Have they lost their cornailly control over that right index finger? We will never know.

Its bad enuff you got to put up with this shit from taxis(OMFG the shitless IDIOTS, whom terrorize everyone on the road) now I got to contend with such behaviour from regular drivers? Wad is up with all these ppl? Oh yeah I dun give a flying fuck about, ppl not letting you pass when you use your indicators. HELLO... you think they will let you pass when you dun?? DUH!!! tok about dumb asses.

I guess even with the so called 'festive mood' in the air, ppl in sillypore are all but nice. I beg to differ about the making love survey too, its obvious that sillyporeans do have lots of sex, too bad is only oral sex, like when they pass one another, they with give each other a verbal fuck that sounds like 'FUCK YOU' or teh more propriately used "KAN N I NAH'

Now i know the world is ending, we seem to deteriorate every year and no one gives a damn. No wonder we dun do well when we want to get to know ppl, I guess its our mentality to do or think that if someone does some thing 'nice' there must be a hidden agenda. You know wad is dumb? the gals that think that 'ang mohs' whom, do nice things, well, they got more hidden agendas then you think, like getting you in bed and fucking your 'tight' pussies till you cannot walk.