Monday, June 27, 2005

Some humans are just plain morons

I am refering to the hairwreckerstylist at EC house in toa payoh central.I know that they are human too, but this one, this particular one is either retarded or just want to make my hair look like a cat went thru it.

I told her at the start I only want to do slope, low slop in fact and the fringe cut no more than slightly below the eyebrown(my fringe was up to my lip). Also to add, I told her not to come my right side of my hair to my left and balance them out, I think this is a moronic technic and whomever thought of it shld be hung by his balls till he dies. Forthose whom dun know my hair has a right side and a left side whereby the right is a lot longer than the left and if you balance it out when I comb my hair teh way I like to comb it I would look like an idiot.

So these instructions are very clear and my hair was in a shape that even a 2 yr old knows that I want toretain as I di not mention in anyway at anytime that she can have a artistic try on my hair nor did I say I want to change my look. I JUST WANT A FUCKING TRIM YOU MORON, WHAT IS THAT TOO HARD TO COMPREHEND?!!!!!

The fucking bitch just started to do her thing that in no way looked like she was cutting slope, more like cutting inner cut. But her work was quite good at that point, so I thought I shld let her carry on, BIG MISTAKE. When she work on my left side all hell broke loose, even after reminding her not to balance my hair, twice in fact, she when ahead and balanced it when she was work up from the left. I stopped her immediately but was too late. The damage was done.

I told her off, I told her that I initially had a parting and she could well see the parting was rather obvious and now she messed it up and my hair resembled a frizzy mop. She then tried to make up by tidyingup and putting water on my hair and tried to comb it back the way it was and failed badly in doing so.

EC house has lost a repeat customer, I will put my 10 bucks somewhere else. I will never let these morons taht one know one way of cutting hair and no flexibility to ever touch my hair. Esp when they cannot follow my instructions which were clear and simple. I hate ppl, but at times like these I despice them, esp when they are morons with a single digit IQ.

Good news, Bad news

Its true that no one wants to hear bad news or hurtful truths, but when we do hear them, do we snap off our rational stem and go into berserk mode and become a defensive self rightoues asshole? Well some ppl will and do, while at times like these I have learnt to let go of my hateful ways and come to terms with logical thinking.

Miss whiney blog about loosing her space to do her own thing, if I was 5 yrs younger(five years more irrational that is) I would have flown my top and blew up. But now I sat calmly in my chair thinking of the very 1st day we met and teh events that led to today. I must say that all this time most of her time has been with me and going with me to flying and doing things i want to do.

Someone used to tell me this, one day the very reason that made you love a person may well be the very reason for you to detest him. I wonder how much truth there is in that statement. Anyway back to lil miss whiny. I must say she is quite rite and in efforts for me to be able to keep my current family alive and by giving a lot of my money to them and my car I am left with virtually nothing, even to the point of having to eat cheap in NUS which says a lot.

I guess that this whole event has left me being only able to do one thing that I could do without spending much money anymore. I gave up watching movies weekly, I gave up eating things that cost more than 5 bucks per person, I gave up buying things on a whim. All for teh family that is now tearing itself apart. The worst thing is I dragged her along and now it is taking a tow on her.

This story feels all too familiar, like when I felt trapped a year ago and started to go out on my own and wanting to see more than wad was before me. But the situation now is different, and she has the right to feel this way as most of these family problems i have are my just that, my own family problems. She should not be dragged into them.

So comes the logical thinking, I guess it will be fair that she can freely go out with her friends when she wants to without taking my account into consideration, I mean she does deserve to be happy and to go out and have fun. I did not and would never want her to be trapped and now she feels that way.

Dun worry about me, meeting me less often will not mean that you want/love me less, it just means that you need your own space and I respect that, I too can use this space to catch up on the things I have not done for so long.

You dun have to bear all the things that befall on me
You do not have to shoulder the relentless emotional beating I am receiving
You do not have to claim responsibility of my finacial woes.

Dun worry I will be fine, I promise not to burden you so much as I can see it eating into your soul, into your bones. You should be having fun at this stage of life not worrying for me, your time of worrying, your time of trying, your own problems you went thru are over and you need to recover. You need to rest, let me shoulder my own fight now and not worry about me ok.

I hope you dun see this as me being angry, but me trying to do everything myself, as I see it, I shld be the one to see these things thru myself in the 1st place. We will still spend time, just less, thus you will get time to spend with your friends.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

I now understand

Watching BSG(Battlestar Galactica) lets you understand ppl more, I never thought I would say that by watching a scifi drama, I would learn more of the human mind. Now onto the subject of Xiaxue then, Why I want to talk about her, well why not? Anyway On her recent post about the whole SPG thing with the nude photos and all, and XX recently post some entries trying to tell ppl off about her not feeling jealous wadsoever about the whole incident, I come to a conclusion of my own.

Xiaxue is exactly like Gaius Baltar. Ok its an inside joke for a certain whiney someone. Well, from how she post, she always seems to have a greater or holier than everyone attitude that shows that in no way can she ever post something wrong. She is in denial that she could ever be wrong, a 21 yr old that can never be wrong. Now ppl lets all sit back and think, its like there is such a thing as a naiveguy! Hence my nick :)

Ok about Gaius Baltar, he is a genius of a scientist in BSG, but becoz of his own fleshly gains, he let a cylon infiltrator gain access to the 12 colonies defense matrix. Which led to the obliberation of all the colonies and massacre of his species, yet he felt that it was never his fault to begin with.

Lets come back to XX here, though she is no genius, nor did she lead to the obliberation of our species, her immense power of irrational reasoning that she can do no wrong really astounds even me. Like the time when she told off the dead guy whom went to retrive his slipper that he was stupid. She seems to be loosing her human touch and trying to ascend herself as goddess. I guess if she appears at blog con, it would become a real stuffy event, as she would be so full of herself that she would smother the rest of us.

I end with a joke now

How many xiaxues does it take to screw on a light bulb?


All she needs to do is hold the light bulb and wait for the world to revolve around her.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

If you blog, will they read.....

Age old question of blogging, why do you blog? I guess it could be a variety of reason, maybe you want to document the number of nipple hairs you have grown? Maybe you just want to fuck your boss and only place to do it is behind an anonymous name? Wadever the reasons, we all have we will not share. The main thing is to be true to yourself.

Someone asked me b4, wun it be sad if you write such great literature(I am not sayingmine is good to begin with) and nobody reads it? My answer, it is sadder if you write such shit to get readers and for readers. In the end of the day, even if there is 0 ppl coming to my blog to read it, it will be fine. Why? Coz at the end of the day, I would go back on teh shit I wrote and read it to myself. At least I can sometimes see how much different I am then and now (or same for that matter).

Then comes the question, why have a hit counter if that is the case, actually I am a blogging recluse, and when my hit counter start to move a bit too fast, you will notice that I will stop blogging. Thus I am actually more afraid of being read. Why you say? Well simple, everyone's got their reasons, mine, well I feel that getting t oo much readership equates to fame which equates to power(somewhat) which equates to evil. Thus I try to stay away from fame.

Also not everyone can wield fame well, it makes us rear our ugly heads sometimes when things get out of hand. Look at XiaXue, she was once a great read, funny and spunky, now she uses her blog more for condemning and taking ppl down, in their blogs no less. So how much fame you want if it can turn you into such an ugly creature?

True that we should be in control i such situations, or at least have teh basic sense to know wad is rite and wrong, but wad if this readership makes you feel that you can do no wrong and you got mindless fans that tell you that you are always right? I can say for sure that your sense of right and wrong will defintely be twisted and corrupted.

So comes back to the point of writing for your readers, I try not to write for them, its not that I dun appreciate ppl reading me, just that I do not feel I shld write for them. Even now I am writing this to tell myself not to write for my readers, yes all 10 or so of you. Also form reading several blogs about an on going political war in blogs, I tend to hide even deeper in my corner, make sme contemplate on whether to go for blogcon at all.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

The dangers of Blogging?

Having a blog is not dangerous, well as long as you remain anonymous i guess. When you start meeting ppl, when you do stupid things, well that is the time when being well known in the blog sphere will come out and bite you in the ass.

Maybe that is why I still have yet to want to come out clean with my url whenever I am present at such meet ups. I like being in my lil corner, cursing someone in teh comforts of my cubicle. Not needing to be exposed to the world outside, not having to worry that one day i might loose my job over this blog I have.

Yet, as we are more public about our identity, we take little or no precautions in wad we do in our free time. There is also politics in teh blog sphere it seems, politics that ppl have over different group of friends, politics that you only think you see in the childish IRC world.

Prevention is better than cure, if you are a semi-well known blogger, your actions will have repercussions, no matter how trivial the matter you felt it was at that time. One must always guard themselves, hence all the defense mechanisms I have installed all around me. When I had to make sure no one got any dirt on me during my hay days in school, when anytime a good friend can stab you in the back.

I always abide to my number one rule, always look out for yourself(and your loved ones 1st). Make sure that wad you say or do in a public place do not bring harm to yourself(and your loved ones) You never know who will be digging dirt on you or chance upon a mistake you made, and having that mistake exposed on the net unintentionally. So my take is, if you do something that you feel will haunt you later in life, cover your tracks, leave no evidence. I am rather good at doing taht since I am so accustomed having to guard my ass 24/7.

It is much easier to not make mistakes so that no dirt can be traced to you. Thus another rule I have, that is to always learn from ppl's mistakes. Lastly I would like to say that most of the bloggers I know so far have had no malicous intend and sometimes, things said or posted were unintentional yet you will never know when a flame war/blog war will spark off due to a few careless post. To the rest of the world, do make more love and not war.

The Ego is a fragile thing

Recently there have been numerous spats on male egos, more of teh lack of it. The open male bashing by certain well known individuals are not helping these poor male specimens that have their egos battered to a pulp in which some have sworn off gals, or for that matter of fact, love.

Thus it spurred me to remember my past and some of the crazy things i used to do. The male ego is abeit fragile and the worst thing is teh opposite sex has always deemed that most men have bullet proof egos, which is not the case. Even sexual preference with the partner plays an important part, in which if the partner refuse to do a certain act when asked to might put a huge dent into a guys ego. Or a simple comment from the said partner about a certain physical adspect of the guy usually makes him sink into his depression pit, but we men know how to hide it thus the 'fairer' sex usually is oblivious to the damage done.

My cure for such ego deflation is to go take a walk in geyland, yes its not the best idea but if beats trying to pick chat up women, it is cheaper and it is a quick remedy for low esteem. No I am not asking you guys to commit infidelity by calling a pro for a one time passion. Just take a walk there and these gals will come up to you. I used to do that very often over a year ago and since then I have yet to gone down again, well since my ego need no more boosting but advice is free anyway so why not share it rite?

These women are pretty, these pretty women have thick make up, these heavily made up pretty women have big tits(usually fake I guess), these big tit heavily made up pretty women will come up to you and chat you up. They will ask you if you want to 'go' but pls do not let their sweet talk get to you. They only see you as big wallets walking in the streets.

I have heard enuff stories in the sammy leong forums to gather that these women will come up to you and grab you by the arm. These women will grab your arm and hold them against their tits. These women while holding your arm against their tits will ask you to 'book' them. These women while holding your arm against their tits asking you to 'book' them will promise good service(best you will ever get). These women while holding your arm against their tits asking you to 'book' them and promising the best service will say that they liked you the moment they saw you.

The sad truth is, they do that to every man. the sad truth is they do it every nite. The sad truth is they only want your money. Still the perks are there, just take a walk, hear their sweet nothings, telling you how ham-son you are promsiing the world(at least in the bed room) If you are lucky you would have brushed up against enuff tits to have your ego(read as penis) inflated so big that you can cum on command.

Just make sure that when you go down, do not bring more than $40 in your wallet, I heard that that is the cheapest rate. But when I was there for my eye candy, being the curious arse that I am, when I asked about teh price, they shocked me asking for $100 excluding room.

Also these are some reason why you should not call one, well anyway to me they are enuff to sway me from actually going all the way with one.

1) I am a cheap bastard poor man and I do not believe in paying for sex.

2) The thought of putting my dick into a walking petri dish full of weird cultivated bacteria makes my penis hide in my asshole

3) I read enuff of the sammy leong forums to know that 90% of teh time when a gal promis e good service and the world for that, she usually gets the cash rush you for the bang, did not give you whatever service you were promised, give lame excuses of being tired and all, leaving you feeling cheated, which defeats the purpose of teh ego boosting excusion and maybe make your feel worst than before.

But if there are dudes out there that actually go for their tricks persuasion and enjoy the session, well good for you. One man's meat is another's poison. Just remember to have your safety precautions and remember to go for regular check ups.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Oh wad a web of traps they lay for us.....

I wanted to do a serious post about the things that happened in my home last nite, the shouting the arguing, the saddness and the stress, instead I felt compelled to post a satire post to take my mind off things. A lil while ago, someone mentioned that I had standard answers for the most dreaded questions women ask us, which usually are impossible to answer or at least give a right answer.

So then I was thinking back then when I 1st met lil miss whiny I made the mistake of revealing to her these answers when we were toking to a group of almost all guys. Every now and then she still tries to get me with one of those 'there is no escape' questions. So here are the answers and the weight of each answer that we sometimes give. Try to keep your points up

Am I fat?

Ans 1 : What fats? (-1 point)
Ans 2 : I like 'bah bah'(meaty) gals (-1000 points)
Ans 3 : No lah, but you can lose some on the sides (-1000000 points)
Ans 4 : Dear look at that, bali is so cheap...blah blah blah (0 points)
Ans 5 : No (with no hesitation, 1 point)

Do you love me?

Ans 1 : Why do you ask?(-10 points)
Ans 2 : Errr......(-100 points)
Ans 3 : Yes dear (-1 point is you answer too quickly, 0 points if you pause for a bit, -1000 points if you take too long, -1000000 points if you were ogling at another gal when you pause)

Am I pretty?

Only Ans : Yes (any other answer will cause a meltdown here, esp if you add a 'but she is prettier')

Are you looking at another gal?

Ans 1 : I am admiring the woman as a form of art (-1000 points)
Ans 2 : I am thinking how skinny/tall she looks (-1000000 points, will lead to am i fat questions)
Ans 3 : She has nice*insert features here* (no need to give you the point scale here, you should be dead at this moment)
Ans 4 : What gal? (o points)

That gal is so pretty, do you think so?

Ans 1 : (she will say you got no taste, -1 point)
Ans 2 : okay...lah...yes (she will accuse you of looking at other gals, see qn above, -100 points, will also lead to am I pretty/prettier qns)
Ans 3 : What gal?(0 points)

If your *insert fav item/family member/friend here* and I fall into the sea whom will you save?

Sorry folks there is no right answer here, if she compares it with your mother and you say her, she will accuse you of not loving your mother(-10 points) if you choose otherwise she will say you dun love her (see do you love me qn) If its an item lets say your car, your ps2, your xbox, always say you will save her but still she will not beleive you(-1 point) but its better than nothing. If its a friend never say you would save that friend( you will die)

Lastly, for married couples

If I die will you re-marry?

He : No

She : why not? Dun you like being married?

He : Erm...then I guess I would....

She : (sadden) will you keep my picture on the dresser?

He : I guess it wun be appropriate

She : will she play golf with you?

He : I guess so....

She : will she use my golf clubs?

He : no....


He : Coz she is left handed......

Husband found dead the next morning with golf club entwined ard his neck

Friday, June 03, 2005

Its a trap........

There will be no way that the gargerment be able to control the blogsphere here in sillypore, thus they set up all the bloggers to have this so called blogconference. Since the gargerment cannot control some thing that huge(unless they invent mind control) they will destroy it.

They will send in their SOF and surround the building where the said conferenc3e will be held. thus nobody gets out and in one fell swoop, they will take them all out like how the jedis were taken out with no fore knowledge. They will gas the place and blame it on a gas pipe bursting, killing everyone in it.

I have come across their plans as they did their planning via video conference and they had employed my dept to facilitate the meeting. I have seen their evil ways and as with anything they cannot control, they will either destroy or exile them to ubin.

The men in white are evil, do not let their squeaky clean suits deceive you as their hearts are as black as tar.

With this I will send the warning to all whom reads my blog not to attend the event of the year for bloggers else it will spell certain doom to them. I myself will not be attending and will remain hidden and exile myself for teh time being, till teh massacre that the dark ones are planning has been executed. I shall train new bloggers to rise up against the evil white ones when the time comes.

Incidentally today is the bday of my blog, it has been one full year today that I started this paradox that reflex the twisted ramblings of my mind. Fitting it is the day that I discovered the plot and will go into hiding.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

20Km of Road....So much frustration

Every morning I have to drive from home to work and the stretch of road is usally less than 20Km, yet every morning driving this hell bent gaunlet of a road infuriates me so much. Its funny how just 20 mins or so spent on this 20Km piece of road can make you bitter for the rest of your day.

The worst stretch of it begins at dunman towards clementi road, the road that leads to ngee ann poly. You would think that being the holidays now that there will be less cars travelling by this road. Man its as though this road leads to teh city man. All the way from the Junction of ulu pandan till the junction at king albert park it would be jammed. On top of that you get shit for brains drivers 'doing their thing' without regard of public safetly.

1) After I passed the junction at king albert park going towards the merging lane, a dark blue merc (damn merc drivers) on the left lane swerve into my lane (I was in the lane at the time) trying to avoid some traffic that did not want to wait to turn into the road we were on. The problem is, the merc driver did not chk his blind spot if anyone was in it. I was there, I braked, I horned, I flashed my finger. Driver is an old indian man.

2) 2 traffic lights later I was on the right most lane and it was flowing better than any other lane. Gold toyota altis without so much of a signal changed into my lane when I was there. I braked, I flashed, I horned, I showed my finger. Driver was a middle age bitch.

3) 100m, later, a red marche did the same thing to me, this time I was already occupying teh spot. I braked, I flashed, I horned, I showed her my finger. Driver is a young bitch.


No one here check blind spots, no one chk mirrors, all like to suka suka change lane swerve into lanes. All the fucking assholes drivers of singapore congregate at that stretch of the road every morning?? Ok next tiem I change Car I think I will buy one of our $1 APCs to take my drive to work and will fucking crush anyone whom pisses me off, crush them like a cockroach.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


Driving by this double decker bus near queenstown got me thinking. On the bus was this huge ad about how the product makes this star's skin glow and flawless. I always wonder if these marketing asses geniuses know that the consumers are not your average dumbasses as gullible anymore.

Is it not obvious that they asked a star whom has flawless skin to begin with to endorse inthe said product. That it was by no means the intake of their product that achieved this result? Or are ppl going to say 'hey if I apply this, I will have skin like said hong kong star' Riiiiiiighhhhhhhtttt.... that will happen.

The consumer is a different animal now than it used to be and I am sure they know the whole ruse about getting stars to endorse products. Just like my Xando episode, it did nothing for me and they got freaking fann wong to endorse teh product. Hello...she is freaking slim alrdy, its like cheating. Get a real fat ass to slim down and then tell the story, maybe the ppl will listen. Also remember not to say shit like 'while taking this product, please keep you calorie intake to XXX number'. If I can keep my calorie intake down, I wun need your shitty product.

Its more of a social stigma that we have put on our society ourselves, whereby slim is beautiful. Then our gals have this insane perception that they think they are fat when they see their reflection in the mirror, whne they are stick thin. Look at miss singapore 2005, can you say stick with boobies?(not much boobies too) If this goes on, none of our gals will ever be able to walk out of their homes with confidence as they will keep thinking taht everyone on teh street is judging their fats and wadnots. Which is by the way an illusion in their own minds.