Growing old gracefully?

Have been having discussions with LMW if we had the technology to relive our past, will we? I for one wished I was much younger, back in school doing what kids do. This comes at a time when you see the students here or even teenagers engaged in silly banter that seemed so important to them yet are trivial by standards of an adult.

I do love the freedom of a working adult, but are we really free, being an adult means that you got to act responsibly and you have to weigh your actions with every repercussions. You got bills to pay for and the endless worry if you can keep your job the day after.

But somehow, when you hear the silly banter of kids these days, like who they think should win american idol, whom has a cruch on whom and all the silly things that they swear they would die if it did not happen for them, makes one relish the past. I remember the time that I wan to go out late till after midnite, coming home at a staggering 3am, partying all night. Now I could barely make it till 11pm before drifting to sleep.

I wonder if its me that has grown old(and somewhat useless) or that my once flamboyant past is now a distant memory that sometimes I want to relive. I think the fear of age is catching up on me, that I now realise I am no longer young, that I am not longer the guy I used to be, I heard its times like these that middleaged ppl(like myself) tend to go out and do something, something that is usually stupid like skydive or climb everest.

What ever the case, I do hope that its just a phase of me trying to cope with my aging body and not a sign of wanting a second childhood.

Quiet Week

Not been blogging for a week as it has been quiet at work and at home for the past few weeks, also not wanting to attract people whom got nothing better to do than to put some down talking and negative comment on my blog, I decided not to say anything for a week.

Its funny how people in sillypore like to talk in a hollier than thou art tone, this is the same reason that we will never be a nation with great minds, I mean how could that happen when all we care about is being right and trying our best at putting people down so that they feel good about themselves.

Seems like we are more of a nation of small hearted people where only our own selfish ego is important. I got a news flash, the world does not revolve around yourselves, dun think that everything is about you and solely you. How else are we ever going to move forward if we dwell on the past?

Long day by the beach

Today was a wet day to begin with, yet begin it wet we still decided to head down to the beach. yes Lil Miss Whiney, Not so Sassy Jan and Me went down to the beach on a eary sunday to run away from it all.

I actually wanted to take this spot by the beach but somehow it was too windy thus we decided to take a different spot. We amused ourselves by watching teh number of families tryingto take the same spot that we gave up on also due to the strong wind.

There is something about sitting on a beach, playing chillouts, haveing the wind in your hair that strikes you. If only if there wasn't the fact that other facmilies keep setting up there picnic spots so damn near ours, i mean the beach is so huge yet so many families like to set up like 2 meters from us. Even a grup of ns boys had to play their ball games five meters form us when there was the whole empty beach they could use.

I think its tehgood taste in music we were playing that drew them to us. Next time we will set up so whee more secluded.

Haunting Song.....

As I said yesterday I was surfing youtube and watching some MTVs. This particular song got into my head and is haunting me since.



Its a song by Goldfrapp called pilots. I think its beautiful and has this feel to it screaming to be featured on the next James Bond movie. Its one of those songs that I can play on loop and not get bored by it. LMW informed me that the high pitch sounds at the begining of the song(and inbetween the song) are man made. I was quite amazed as it sounds like something from a synthesizer.

Some might be wondering whats with all the musical post of late, well maybe this phrase shall sum it all, 'Music sooths the savage beast'

Music

I have always been a music freak, ever since the days when I was in sec sch. treating my walkman as though it was gold. Buying tapes to record songs off the radio to listen to. I wonder if that was a form of piracy to begin with, can't be helped, I did not come from a well to do family that can afford fivourous things.

I have always listened to pop and even to the extend of chinese pop in my younger days. That is funny as my chinese, and my chinese language grades are crap. Anyway I have always listened to pop music until a few years ago, when a friend from IRC exposed me to 'Mandalay'. I think they are considered chillout genre.

Then came lil Miss Whiney whom is also a music freak, whom showed me the light of chillout and now, my listening staples consist of the likes of lamb, hooverphonic, goldfrapp, frou frou and so on. Though I listen to some jazz form time to time, if you consider nora jones jazz, I think I cannot do without my chillouts.

Still I do listen to some other more mainstream alternative music like coldplay or even keane, I do consider them more 'poppish' than alternative, maybe cause they are more well known by the general populace.

Today, I spent almost the whole morning searching through you tube looking for the music videos of the mentioned chillouts and was surpirsed that someof the songs that I love have great music videos. Do try searching for them (lamb,hooverphonic,goldfrapp, etc) on youtube to get a taste of their music. Maybe you might fall in love with them too.

Misunderstandings

I think I have been greatly misunderstood these days.

Anyway I just wanted to clear something up about my father before any of you annoynomus twits start to give me a lecture on how bad you have it out there.

You have no idea what I went through during the time before i got my own place. The moeny he took from my mum, the things he did to the family, He only gave me the money coz he had the impression that I was going to take care of the rest of the family and that he felt it could relief his concious. If you read back on my previous post about 'Bob' wehich I doubt you did, you would not have to write that lengthy lecture of a reply that you did not bother to put your name, nor did I bother to read through.

So for all you asshole wannabes, dun pull shit out of your ass if you have no idea what the fuck you are talking about. Oh yes I did not allow publishing of that comment, for one reason, that if you want to rant on my blog like that , go start one on your own to rant on.

Where the fuck do I get so many morons reading me recently.... I mean I am not even famous, WTF

Rain

As rain drops fell onto my car while driving, it reminded me of things in the past, well not so happy things that is. Somehow I have always had an affinity to the rain, it brings out the melachony in me. Yet I am drawn to the rain, I feel its like a love hate relationship with the rain. i cannot deny that there weren't any good times in the rain yet we then to only remember the bad times that associates with it.

Which comes to the next point, why do people almost always only remmeber the bad things or the wrongs people had done to them and not all the good things that they had previously done?

I know i am ranting today, I guess my mood is not especially good for some unkn own reason. I do hope I will feel bettre soon.

The Father (Bob part II)

A while ago, Bob made the decision to sell the house, giving halfthe money to my mom. He was nice then, as when he is when he is rich. He gave me 20K to start off my lil nook I have now. After paying what he owed outside, I calculated that he had about 60K or so left for himself.

2 years later, he coems and sms me if he could get some moeny from me, namely 2K, he did not state if he was borrowing or taking back what he gave me then, nor did he state that he will ever return me the money, not that I want that as I know he gave me money to start with.

The thing that pisses me is, HOW THE FUCK CAN SOMEONE SPURGE 60K in 2 FUCKING YEARS. He does not learn, not from the last lesson when he lost all his CPF to his useless brother, the whole 170k or so and now this. The thing is just when you thing life is going well and you do not want to worry about money, shit hits the fan.

I could have said I did not have the money, well technically I do not have it, it is money I loan from my mum to buy my new car and was about to return her the full sun. Now with my irresponisble and selfish, well Bob, coming back asking for hand outs, I can only partially retun the money to my mum. Hopefully retuningteh rest at the end of the year and be very broke again.

Sometimes I wished I had a father whom is more sensible. its like money and him do not mix ala water and oil. I wished I had a father that does not become a burden on his kids in this way, oh btw the thing is, he seem to only ask money from me and not his other sons, that is too 'funny' I tell you